my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
