on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
