The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
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