Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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