The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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