have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
we're chasing vodka with high fives
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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