we have officially lost it.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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