dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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