i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
i think im in europe. pls send help
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
