dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
