I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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