...so i touched it.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
