She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize