is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Randomize
