so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
