apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
