He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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