So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Randomize
