If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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