i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
