you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
