Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Randomize
