What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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