Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
