Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize