I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
