so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize