tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
