WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
