Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
We left an ass print on the piano.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Randomize
