if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
