you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
