I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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