I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize