so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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