Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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