butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
