apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I need a beard to bite.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
