Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize