I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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