Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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