No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
