I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
