she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
