maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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