I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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