he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
