if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
The Olympian is in my bed
Randomize
