I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
