have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
