The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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