Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
