a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
