In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize