i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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