I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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