Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Shame is for Republicans.
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