He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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