i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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