Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize