If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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