my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize