Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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