are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
