I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize