Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
