If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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