Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Blow job season was short but glorious.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
