just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
