Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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