To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
