Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize