He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
