I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I need a burrito and a hug.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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