ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
me + whiskey = a bad person
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I am one with the molecules
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
