So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
