Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
