If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
