Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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