kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
