Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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