We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I faked an abortion last night.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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