apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
