I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize