You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I smell stomach acid.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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