dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
