k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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